Category Archives: Pregnancy

Year By Year

I came across this Instagram photo the other day and it got me thinking about all the changes Iโ€™ve gone through in the last few years.

2016 (April): In the pic on the left I had just started on my journey to becoming healthier, and had already lost about 25 lbs. In this picture, we were in Florida (with my ex-husband) as a family on vacation. It was the first time the boys or I had experienced the ocean or even gone on a family vacation, ever. I thought my life was going well, even though my relationship was on the rocks. I figured weโ€™d work it out. I was working full-time, as was my husband. We were financially stable for the first time in over a decade. We were renting a house, and after we were done on this vacation we went home and bought a new vehicle. I had no idea what was in store for me in the future.

2017 (May): A year later, in the pic on the right, I had lost 60 lbs. and had a Panniculectomy (surgery to remove loose skin on my belly). Pictured here, Iโ€™m showing off my new, leaner body. My husband and I had split up and divorced. I had moved twice since the beach pic. At this time I was dating a life-long friends but he was incredibly verbally, mentally and emotionally abusive. I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt because of our history, and I wasnโ€™t thinking much about myself. I had been fired from my full-time job due to performance issues, which, looking back, probably had a lot to do with that abusive relationship. I wanted to be home a lot because not only was I worried about being cheated on, but I was worried about the safety of my children.

2018 (April): Jarrod and I had traveled to NC and I got a tubal ligation reversal. During that year, I started a new job delivering pizza at Pizza Hut, I kicked my abusive boyfriend to the curb for the sake of my kids, Jarrod and I found each other (at work) and fell head over heels for each other in a matter of days, we ran off to Colorado and got married, I got a panniculectomy revision and breast reduction, we merged our families into one home, and we decided to expand our family.

2019 (April): The final picture in this seriesโ€ฆ Jarrod and I and our new baby, Felix. In the course of the year, Jarrod had a vasectomy reversal, my middle teenage boy, Evan, had some serious mental health issues that needed to be addressed throughout the year, two of Jarrodโ€™s girls went to live with their mom, I fought a serious infection from my breast reduction resulting and 2 extra surgeries to clean out the infection and a lot of antibiotics for several months. I went through an entire pregnancy resulting in a healthy baby. Jarrod lost his job at Pizza Hut after Felix was born, and Iโ€™ve been staying home with Felix, which has caused us financial turmoil. But he has since found a couple new jobs and things are finally starting to look brighter.

So many changes year-by-year, it really makes me not take anything for granted. I never imagined back in 2016, that I would be where I am now in 2019. In fact, if anyone would have told me, I would have thought they were a fool. I am so very grateful for what I have now, who I have become, for my amazing best friend and husband, and for my growing family. Hereโ€™s to seeing where we are in another year.


A Baby Boy Is Born!

I had contractions for days. Not simple, easy ones. But ones that hurt. I had so much pressure on my pelvis and on my pubic bone. My hip joints were coming a little dislocated at times. It got to the point where I could not get comfortable no matter what. I had given up on the idea of a VBAC because I didnโ€™t want to go through another week of the same symptoms just to have labor possibly not start on itโ€™s own anyway.

On Monday morning, February 4th, at 9:45 am, Jarrod and I went into see my OB, Dr Johnson for my 39 week appointment. He asked me how I was doing and I told him everything. All the pains, contractions, misery that I felt. We had a c-section scheduled for me on February 12th, and he was about to be out of town until then. So he gave me some options. I could either wait til the scheduled date. I could have the other OB do a c-section later in the week. Or I could opt for a c-section that day. I said the sooner the better, and he said heโ€™d see what we could do, and left the room.

When he returned, he said โ€œhow about noon?โ€ Jarrod and I agreed, and headed upstairs to labor and delivery. Jarrod made sure I was settled and ran home to get the stuff we needed and get some last minute things situated. While he was gone, the nurses got my IV started, fetal monitoring done, some paperwork and consents signed, and then it was time.

My mom came to witness the birth, but she wasnโ€™t allowed this time. She tried to plead with the nurses but hospital policy wouldnโ€™t let her be there. So she hung out in our hospital room until we returned with a baby.

Jarrod showed up just in time and came down to the OR with me. He was kept out of the OR until I was prepped and ready. They did my spinal. They prepped my body including shaving and starting a catheter. They got me all scrubbed and draped. And then Jarrod was allowed to come in and sit by my head. Then the c-section began.

It took a few minutes for Dr Johnson to get to my uterus, but when he did he let Jarrod know to take photos. The first thing I heard when they saw him was โ€œoh my, what a big head!โ€

They lowered the drape so I could see him be born as well. And just like that, Felix Riot was born. It was on February 4th and 12:10pm. He was 9lbs 12oz and 21 1/4 inches long.

The nurse took him and got him all cleaned up and gave him back to me, all swaddled and on my chest.

Jarrod was there, right by my side for every moment of it all. He even stayed in the hospital with us until we were able to go home.

At one point during the post-birth part of the c-section, while I was holding Felix on my chest, I had some very sharp and stabbing chest pains. Enough that I had to hand Felix away. But it passed and all was fine.

Once I was all sewn up and ready to go to my room, we all went up together and got settled. We didn’t welcome guests besides my mom for a few hours.

People who visited in the hospital were all 6 of the teenagers, both our moms, a couple of my family friends and a couple of his family friends.

We ended up staying in the hospital for 3 days due to Felix’s blood sugar and “lazy eating” issues. It was an extremely emotional time for me because I wanted to desperately to breastfeed and he refused to latch. Also, his blood sugar kept dropping below acceptable limits. They gave us a good long couple of days before I finally broke down and allowed formula to be given to him. He had lost over a pound at that point and was clearly dehydrated. It was heartbreaking to me to see him that way. I felt like I was failing him.

However, once we got home, breastfeeding came a little easier. Perhaps it was just the stress of the hospital setting that was causing the issues.

Besides breastfeeding issues, the hospital stay was uneventful and Felix and I came home happy.

There are many, many more photos posted on my Instagram, found in a widget on this blog.

Felixโ€™s hospital photo

39 Weeks

Final OB appointment this morning. Iโ€™m absolutely fed up with the continued pain and contractions, just to eventually end up with a c-section on the 12th anyway (probably). So Iโ€™ve decided to move that date up to ASAP. I donโ€™t feel the need to torture myself any more than necessary.

Pregnancy Pain

So, people wanna say Iโ€™m being lazy during my pregnancy, and Iโ€™m using it for an excuse to bitch. Did you ignorant assholes ever think I DO in fact have issues? No, you just wanna be continue to be ignorant assholes.

Meanwhile, letโ€™s give a rundown of my issues, since you donโ€™t even care to ask, and assume Iโ€™m 100% healthy and whole.

1. Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD) During Pregnancy

โ€œThe most common symptoms are difficulty when walking and wrenching pain (as though your pelvis is tearing apart). Typically, the pain is focused on the pubic area, but in some women it radiates to the upper thighs and perineum.

The pain can worsen when you’re walking and doing weight-bearing activities, particularly those that involves lifting one leg like climbing stairs, getting dressed, getting in and out of a car, or even turning over in bed.โ€

As if that isnโ€™t enough….

2. Hip Displaysia

Which means my hip joints donโ€™t align properly. This started to cause me pain about 10 years ago, and has genuinely stopped me from doing work involving standing for extended periods of time. Iโ€™m NEVER allowed to do anything more than low-impact activities. And within the next 10-15 years, I will have to have a double hip replacement.

Pregnancy makes this so much worse, especially in the 3rd trimester, because of the way the body โ€œrelaxesโ€ to get ready for child birth. My already-weak and misaligned hips are even less held together and there is an incredible amount of pain. Sometimes my hips even come out of the socket entirely, nearly throwing me to the floor.

3. BEFORE the pregnancy had me in pain, I was dealing with a SEVERE post-surgical infection that required 2 surgeries and hard-core antibiotics that made me extremely sick. For 6-7 months straight. Once that was done, I had about 2 weeks of health before the late pregnancy issues kicked in.


For both of these current conditions, there is NOTHING that can be done. I can take Tylenol. I can rest. The more activity I do, the worse I hurt. And right now, at almost 39 weeks, Iโ€™m usually in tears within about 20 minutes of moderate activity.

So Iโ€™m lazy you say? Walk a mile in my shoes. Try to โ€œwork until birthโ€ when you feel like I do. You may not be able to SEE my issues, but they exist just the same. Pushing through could genuinely cause further, permanent damage. So I think Iโ€™ll take my doctor recommendations and treat my body right. After all, itโ€™s the only one I have. And right now itโ€™s doing something amazing – growing our son. So why wouldnโ€™t I take special care?

And honestly, I CANโ€™T WAIT to hold this baby boy in my arms and be free of the majority of this pain… and have my body back! Itโ€™s gonna be amazing!

(Previously posted to Facebook)

38 Weeks

38 weeks pregnant. Iโ€™m grumpy and tired of โ€œfalse startsโ€ and body pains. Iโ€™m ready to hold our baby in my arms rather than in my belly. Iโ€™ve been overly emotional about everything. Definitely ready to be done, but really trying to enjoy the last little bit.

Todayโ€™s OB appointment: we covered birth control options, past delivery issues, and pubic bone/pelvic pain due to hormones and baby. Also found out my doc will be out of town after Monday next week. Know what that means??? Thatโ€™s right… baby is SURE to come while doc is out of town.

Last week’s ultrasound: Heโ€™s approx 8lbs 10oz, lots of hair waving in the amniotic fluid, and healthy as can be, measuring in the 94th percentile.